Two Years Ago I left Missouri//Bringing Ya’all Up to Date :)

Two Years Ago I left Missouri--Blank Pages

It’s been almost two years since I moved away from Missouri.

So, to my fellow Missourians who are wondering how I’m doing, this is for you 🙂

That first year away was so hard. Most of you know. But, hard as it was, I’m not sorry it happened. It made me be stronger than I ever thought I could be 🙂 I’ve grown so much these past two years. No more is the little girl who was scared to death of talking to people, who never fit in, who was still so young and insecure.

Main points of the last two years
  • My relationship with God has soared in the past two years. I’ve still got a lot to learn, but I’ve grown so much spiritually 🙂 A fire has ignited in me and ain’t nobody gonna put it out 😀
  • I’ve realized how much I enjoy writing. Before, it was kind of a hobby, but I never really believed I was good at it. I’m not sure exactly when that mindset changed. Little by little it dawned on me. A lot of things happened to me to make me realize, the class I took at camp, getting a couple of my stories published in a magazine (You can read them here and here), writing the play for the homeschool Co-Op… And more 🙂 I’m continue to grow and improve, and we’ll see where God takes me with it 🙂
  • This may sound slightly bad… But moving away, not seeing or being around my older siblings, forced me to develop more of my own personality. For as long as I can remember I’ve tried to gain the approval of my older siblings, and tried to do things the way they did. If they liked a certain movie or disliked a certain movie, chances are I would like or dislike it too. I didn’t even realize it a lot of the time. Getting away, I had to learn to do things me own way. I realized “Wait, I actually don’t like this artist, or song, or movie…” “Why did they always do things this way??” 😉
  • I’ve become WAY more of an extrovert. Having to start completely over with making friends, I realized how much I need people, how much I enjoy spending time with those I love. I’m way more a social person than I ever thought possible. Not that I don’t still have my moments… There are still times when I need space and you’re taking your life into your own hands if you speak to me 😉 So I’m an extroverted introvert?
  • I’ve learned to accept this awkward, clumsy, occasionally graceful, unathletic mess that God has made me 😀
  • I know. I’m not sure I can elaborate. I know what I’m being called to do, where God wants me now, where I want to be years from now. Secret hopes and dreams are being stockpiled 😉 You’ll just have to stick around to see what that means!

I could probably write a book about everything I’ve learned the past two years, but you get the idea 🙂 I still miss Missouri so very much. It will always be home. Nothing is going to change that 🙂

I’ve learned not to think about it. It hurts too much when I think about it. Someday, maybe I can think about Missouri and my life there without tearing up (inside and out), but I kinda doubt it.

*Opens arms wide* I’ve got a crazy blessed life. I love the life I have. I now greet everyday with a smile and an Owl City song (Ha 😉 )

There are a lot of new opportunities coming up for me… I’ll be starting work at a local ice cream shop soon, I’m going to be helping my mom with a writing class for our Co-Op starting this fall, I’m going to camp this summer…  I’m excited about all of them 🙂 I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me.

Stay strong, you all. Life may be difficult at times, but stay strong. God will get you through it 🙂

~Esther

*Twirls cape and vanishes*

~Highlights From 2017~ 2018 is Almost Here!

2018 is almost here! It’s hard to believe that 2017 is about to come to a close. Reflecting back over the year… It was a good one 🙂 So much happened. It started off super rough. I was so done mentally, done with being lonely and feeling sorry for myself. The resolution I made for 2017 was to have a better year than 2016. But then it all turned around and ended up as a year that will be very special for a long time ^_^

Here’s some of the my highlights of 2017 🙂

  • My trip to Missouri. Even though it was really difficult (There was a lot I was dealing with.), it was good to go  spend time with some of my siblings and nieces and nephews. It all was very bittersweet.
  • Camp. Where I found healing 🙂 Everyone that I met there, everything I did… All the fun I had 🙂
  • Co-Op. I’m not sure that I could have survived another year without it ^_^ The people there especially. Everyone there accepted me as one of them without a moment’s hesitation. It didn’t take me long at all before it became a normal part of my life 🙂
  • One family that I and my family has gotten close to in the Co-Op 🙂 They’re the sweetest family. We’re really similar, but different at the same time. They’ve been such a blessing.
  • Theater. That’s one of the classes I’m taking at Co-Op. I wasn’t sure about it the first time I went, but it definitely went up from there 🙂 One of the first classes I volunteered to help write the script. I’m so glad I did ^_^ I had no idea I would enjoy it so much.
  • Thanksgiving. I’ve never really enjoyed Thanksgiving that much, but this year was different 🙂 I did a lot of the baking and helping with preparation,which I really enjoyed. And then we had the family mentioned above over for dinner. We ate good food, talked, played games afterward… It wasn’t anything fancy or spectacular; everything was very low key. It was one of, and quite possibly the best, Thanksgivings I’ve ever had 🙂
  • Going to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Aaaaaaaaahh!! I saw it about two weeks ago, so I’m still fan girling about it ^_^ My brother and I dressed up as jedi. We went with people from our church. It was so much fun XD

The Last Jedi-- Blank Pages

My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments

My trip to Missouri was absolutely amazing. I learned so much. It was the happiest time that I’ve had in a very long time.

I’m a part of Missouri. I do so much more that just live here. I can thrive here 🙂 It may not be the prettiest place on earth to most people, but it is to me 🙂 I pretty much started crying for joy after we got to my brother’s house 🙂 You can smell it in the air, you can feel it, you can see it… It all is telling me that I’m home ^_^

I stayed with my oldest sister for most of the time. Staying at her house… It felt like home. I love her little people so much. Saying goodbye to them…

There is a lot that I’m dealing with right now. I’m not exactly sure what God is telling me to do. Oh how I long for the carefree days of my youth sometimes. When I got back to Massachusetts it felt so very weird and wrong… The feeling has lessened some now, after being here almost two weeks. But there is always that feeling, stronger than others at times, of loneliness and sadness that never completely goes away. I don’t think it will go away, at least not anytime soon.

Favorite Missouri Moments

I’ll go through some of my favorite moments somewhat chronologically 😉 So yeah, not really chronologically at all 😉

I did a lot of babysitting, spent a lot of time with my niece and nephews (my oldest sisters kids). It was really special 🙂 Those kids are something special <3

Nephew #9--Blank Pages

Nature walk--Blank Pages

My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments--Blank Pages

I got to spend a lot of time with a couple friends (who happen to be sisters 😉 ) and got to catch up and play games and just be girls 🙂 Those times are very few for me so it was good for me ^_^ And hey, I found out that they had recently found out what an awesome movie Newsies is, so we were singing Newsies songs, making doughnuts, playing Spoons, painting nails… Yeah ^_^

 

I went to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie! Boy, was it amazing or what ^_^ It was different from the animated movie, but in a good way. I thought Emma Watson did a fair job with Belle. Gaston and the Beast were amazing ^_^

We had a Nerf war in the church building of some good friends of ours. It was insanely fun 😀 With hostages, bombs, brownies, good friends, how could it not be?? Okay, more like fake hostages and bombs 😉 The bomb was actually a walkie talkie in a tool box that one team hid and the other team had to find before the time ran out 🙂 On one of the rounds one boy and I were outside and we ran around the building and surprised everyone by coming in the back door 🙂 We were both shot right away, but it was still cool 😉

My Trip to Missouri, the nerf war-- Blank Pages

I got to go to our homeschool Co-Op twice 🙂 It was really good to be able to see everyone again. All the kids are growing up, getting taller and all that 🙂 Being back there I could almost imagine that nothing had changed. It brought back good memories 🙂

I was able to see some good friends of mine, we met at Ikea, tested out all the chairs, and sadly failed at getting lost 🙁 It was my first time being at an Ikea 🙂 I got to the scary stuffed heart with hands *shudders* Oh, and the stuffed giant toothbrush O_o We also went to Hobby Lobby (Best store ever 😀 ), looked at pretty things and lost our brothers 😉 (They were slightly less enthusiastic about going to Hobby Lobby than us 😉 )  Then we went out to the parking lot and said good-bye and gave hugs while the boys made fun of us 😉 “How long does it take to say good-bye?” “What, you’re hugging again??” We completely ignored them. Boys ;P

Watching movies with my older siblings again ^_^

Going to our church, seeing everyone there and hearing the lessons. It’s a special place 🙂 I was able to spend some time with my best friend there. We walked through the building talking about old times when we played there together as kids, and even found a room that we never knew was there before 😉 I also was able to go to my oldest sister’s church several times, which was good 🙂

 I got to go to dance practice!!! Man, I didn’t realize how much I had missed dancing until then. It was so much fun ^_^ I get better every time I go. Oh, I even waltzed for the first time in my life too! May need some practice on that one 😉 I feel sorry for the guy I was dancing with 😉 I was getting better by the end of the song, though 🙂

My Grandma started teaching me to drive! It was a lot of fun 🙂 I need a lot more practice still, but I at least have some experience now 🙂

I gained another nephew while I was there too!! When got back to my (oldest) sister’s house after staying at my other sisters house, Alyssa said: “Welcome back! I’m going into labor, so are you up for watching the kids?” 😉 I got to see the kids hold their baby brother for the first time. It was all really special.

Now, while there were a ton of high notes to the trip, there were some not so great moments too.

Near the end of my stay it seemed like all the plans I tried to make kept getting canceled. Not being able to go to my brother’s with the rest of my family, plans for getting together with friends in Kansas City to watch Moana was canceled the day of, making plans to stay the night at a friend’s house and then she got flooded in, not being able to stay at my brother’s house or really being able to spend any time with him or his family (That one really hurt), not being able to see another friend, and the big homeschool ball being two days after I left town.

All those things were really disappointing, and I may or may not have had a minor breakdown at church because of them (plus the dread of going back to Massachusetts), but that’s life I guess :-/ I’ll have to try even harder next time I go back to make those things happen.

Well, I’m sure there is more that I could talk about, but I think I’ve told you the most important highlights 🙂

Carrying the banner!

~Esther

 

 

 

 

 

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Different Things, ‘Cause I Needed to Post Something!

Hey ya’ll!

A lot is happening right now and I probably won’t get a chance to post for quite awhile after this.

Our family is taking a trip back to Missouri soon, and oh, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me to just think about it ^_^ It’s kind of my reward, proof that I really have survived the last 6 months. To see the people I love, to visit my woods and the places where I used to roam.

Looking back, my life in Missouri seemed so perfect. I knew it too 🙂 So why did it have to change? Why couldn’t things have stayed perfect? I can’t answer that. Only God knows 🙂 All I know is that I have grown from it, I’m different than I was a year ago.

We’ll see what happens in Missouri 🙂 I’m so excited… And a tad nervous too. I don’t know what will happen, if the people will be the same, or if we’ll get to do all the things that I want to do. Have people missed me? What’s happened since we’ve been gone? I’m trying not to think about it too much 😉 I’m sure it will be fine.

15 hours in the car, in one day, with my siblings 😛 That’s what I’ll be going through pretty soon 😉 I’m not too worried, though. I’m pretty good about traveling. Hopefully I can manage not to sit next to my sister the whole time 😉

The first half of the winter we didn’t get much snow; but that wasn’t the case for the last half! We got about 22 inches in February! And as I’m writing right now there’s practically a blizzard outside 😛 We’re supposedly supposed to get 12 inches or so. Spring come soon…

Next Topic…

I just finished reading the Thrawn Trilogy… And boy, was it amazing!! It’s one of my favorite series now, I have to say 🙂 It had some cool new characters: Mara Jade, Talon Karrde, Grand Admiral Thrawn… And then some 🙂  It really felt like an extension to the 4th, 5th and 6th episodes. Take my advice: it’s an amazing series!! XD

See ya soon!! XD

~Esther

P.S I have another niece and nephew! (No, not twins 😉 ) So happy to be seeing them soon ^_^

 

 

 

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