~Highlights From 2017~ 2018 is Almost Here!

2018 is almost here! It’s hard to believe that 2017 is about to come to a close. Reflecting back over the year… It was a good one πŸ™‚ So much happened. It started off super rough. I was so done mentally, done with being lonely and feeling sorry for myself. The resolution I made for 2017 was to have a better year than 2016. But then it all turned around and ended up as a year that will be very special for a long time ^_^

Here’s some of the my highlights of 2017 πŸ™‚

  • My trip to Missouri. Even though it was really difficult (There was a lot I was dealing with.), it was good to goΒ  spend time with some of my siblings and nieces and nephews. It all was very bittersweet.
  • Camp. Where I found healing πŸ™‚ Everyone that I met there, everything I did… All the fun I had πŸ™‚
  • Co-Op. I’m not sure that I could have survived another year without it ^_^ The people there especially. Everyone there accepted me as one of them without a moment’s hesitation. It didn’t take me long at all before it became a normal part of my life πŸ™‚
  • One family that I and my family has gotten close to in the Co-Op πŸ™‚ They’re the sweetest family. We’re really similar, but different at the same time. They’ve been such a blessing.
  • Theater. That’s one of the classes I’m taking at Co-Op. I wasn’t sure about it the first time I went, but it definitely went up from there πŸ™‚ One of the first classes I volunteered to help write the script. I’m so glad I did ^_^ I had no idea I would enjoy it so much.
  • Thanksgiving. I’ve never really enjoyed Thanksgiving that much, but this year was different πŸ™‚ I did a lot of the baking and helping with preparation,which I really enjoyed. And then we had the family mentioned above over for dinner. We ate good food, talked, played games afterward… It wasn’t anything fancy or spectacular; everything was very low key. It was one of, and quite possibly the best, Thanksgivings I’ve ever had πŸ™‚
  • Going to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Aaaaaaaaahh!! I saw it about two weeks ago, so I’m still fan girling about it ^_^ My brother and I dressed up as jedi. We went with people from our church. It was so much fun XD

The Last Jedi-- Blank Pages

Do Things Ever Really Get Better?

We’ve all heard people say it. You’re going through a hard time and all people can tell you is: “Just wait, things will get better!” But do we really believe them? Do things ever really get better?
Keep reading, maybe I can help πŸ™‚
Β June 2016 through June 2017.
That sentence pretty much sends a shudder through me.
Most people who know me know that the last year has been very hard for me. Some people more than others. There were times when I would just want to give up, but I kept praying that God would somehow make things better for me and help me understand what was going on, and help me get through.
He answered my prayers completely πŸ™‚ It didn’t happen instantly. I suffered for a long time. Then I found a place that helped. A place that God knew I needed πŸ™‚ Camp. It helped me refocus and find my freedom again. I found friends, and purpose in life again, I felt free again. I was no longer burdened down with all my emotions and sadness. I started not just living from day to day, but actually smiling when I woke up in the mornings, like I used to.
And after that the blessings kept continuing…. We found a Co-Op/homeschool group, which was exactly what we had been looking for for quite awhile. We’ve gotten together with them a few times, I’ve met some people that I think may quite possibly turn out to become friends of mine πŸ™‚ Through the school year this year we’ll be doing Co-Op classes. I’ll be able to do theater again!!!! Oh, that feels so good to say ^_^ I’ve been out of theater way too long πŸ™
God is giving me lots of new opportunities. I couldn’t be happier ^_^ I’m getting the chance to be a teenager again ^_^
Β Do Things Ever Really Get Better?--Blank Pages
If I had I choice… I’m not sure that I would rewind my life back to before we moved. Yes, I would rather have never moved and I miss Missouri so much, but there are starting to be some rewards from moving. I’ve grown in my relationship with God (Something that probably wouldn’t have happened so quickly if I hadn’t moved), I found my camp, another home that I never would have found otherwise. I’ve grown up so much. It’s crazy. I’m so different from that little girl I was a year ago.
So what I want to tell anyone who is struggling out there, people that are going through tough times, it will get better. It will. No matter how hopeless your situation looks, you are not alone. God is with you, and he can do something beautiful with your life. You just need to be patient enough to see that.
I didn’t really believe this not long ago. I had people tell me: “It will get better, don’t worry” I would nod my head and pretend like I heard them, but in my heart I could not believe it.
How could things get better, I thought. I don’t see anything changing. Nope, I’m going to be completely miserable for a loooong time.
That’s what I thought. I would pray and pray and ask God to help me, to tell me what to do. Then, all of a sudden, things did get better.
Life can’t be Buttercups and Rainbows all the time. Imagine what we would be like if that was the case πŸ˜› That’s a conversation that I had at camp this summer. Why does God let bad things happen to us? That question would take a whole new post to answer, but I think that Jesus answers this the best:
Β β€œI am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.Β 2Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;Β  and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
John 15: 1,2
I hope this brought you some encouragement today πŸ™‚
Jesus loves you!!
~Esther

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My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments

My trip to Missouri was absolutely amazing. I learned so much. It was the happiest time that I’ve had in a very long time.

I’m a part of Missouri. I do so much more that just live here. I can thrive here πŸ™‚ It may not be the prettiest place on earth to most people, but it is to me πŸ™‚ I pretty much started crying for joy after we got to my brother’s house πŸ™‚ You can smell it in the air, you can feel it, you can see it… It all is telling me that I’m home ^_^

I stayed with my oldest sister for most of the time. Staying at her house… It felt like home. I love her little people so much. Saying goodbye to them…

There is a lot that I’m dealing with right now. I’m not exactly sure what God is telling me to do. Oh how I long for the carefree days of my youth sometimes. When I got back to Massachusetts it felt so very weird and wrong… The feeling has lessened some now, after being here almost two weeks. But there is always that feeling, stronger than others at times, of loneliness and sadness that never completely goes away. I don’t think it will go away, at least not anytime soon.

Favorite Missouri Moments

I’ll go through some of my favorite moments somewhat chronologically πŸ˜‰ So yeah, not really chronologically at all πŸ˜‰

I did a lot of babysitting, spent a lot of time with my niece and nephews (my oldest sisters kids). It was really special πŸ™‚ Those kids are something special <3

Nephew #9--Blank Pages

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My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments--Blank Pages

I got to spend a lot of time with a couple friends (who happen to be sisters πŸ˜‰ ) and got to catch up and play games and just be girls πŸ™‚ Those times are very few for me so it was good for me ^_^ And hey, I found out that they had recently found out what an awesome movie Newsies is, so we were singing Newsies songs, making doughnuts, playing Spoons, painting nails… Yeah ^_^

 

I went to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie! Boy, was it amazing or what ^_^ It was different from the animated movie, but in a good way. I thought Emma Watson did a fair job with Belle. Gaston and the Beast were amazing ^_^

We had a Nerf war in the church building of some good friends of ours. It was insanely fun πŸ˜€ With hostages, bombs, brownies, good friends, how could it not be?? Okay, more like fake hostages and bombs πŸ˜‰ The bomb was actually a walkie talkie in a tool box that one team hid and the other team had to find before the time ran out πŸ™‚ On one of the rounds one boy and I were outside and we ran around the building and surprised everyone by coming in the back door πŸ™‚ We were both shot right away, but it was still cool πŸ˜‰

My Trip to Missouri, the nerf war-- Blank Pages

I got to go to our homeschool Co-Op twice πŸ™‚ It was really good to be able to see everyone again. All the kids are growing up, getting taller and all that πŸ™‚ Being back there I could almost imagine that nothing had changed. It brought back good memories πŸ™‚

I was able to see some good friends of mine, we met at Ikea, tested out all the chairs, and sadly failed at getting lost πŸ™ It was my first time being at an Ikea πŸ™‚ I got to the scary stuffed heart with hands *shudders* Oh, and the stuffed giant toothbrush O_o We also went to Hobby Lobby (Best store ever πŸ˜€ ), looked at pretty things and lost our brothers πŸ˜‰ (They were slightly less enthusiastic about going to Hobby Lobby than us πŸ˜‰ )Β  Then we went out to the parking lot and said good-bye and gave hugs while the boys made fun of us πŸ˜‰ “How long does it take to say good-bye?” “What, you’re hugging again??” We completely ignored them. Boys ;P

Watching movies with my older siblings again ^_^

Going to our church, seeing everyone there and hearing the lessons. It’s a special place πŸ™‚ I was able to spend some time with my best friend there. We walked through the building talking about old times when we played there together as kids, and even found a room that we never knew was there before πŸ˜‰ I also was able to go to my oldest sister’s church several times, which was good πŸ™‚

Β I got to go to dance practice!!! Man, I didn’t realize how much I had missed dancing until then. It was so much fun ^_^ I get better every time I go. Oh, I even waltzed for the first time in my life too! May need some practice on that one πŸ˜‰ I feel sorry for the guy I was dancing with πŸ˜‰ I was getting better by the end of the song, though πŸ™‚

My Grandma started teaching me to drive! It was a lot of fun πŸ™‚ I need a lot more practice still, but I at least have some experience now πŸ™‚

I gained another nephew while I was there too!! When got back to my (oldest) sister’s house after staying at my other sisters house, Alyssa said: “Welcome back! I’m going into labor, so are you up for watching the kids?” πŸ˜‰ I got to see the kids hold their baby brother for the first time. It was all really special.

Now, while there were a ton of high notes to the trip, there were some not so great moments too.

Near the end of my stay it seemed like all the plans I tried to make kept getting canceled. Not being able to go to my brother’s with the rest of my family, plans for getting together with friends in Kansas City to watch Moana was canceled the day of, making plans to stay the night at a friend’s house and then she got flooded in, not being able to stay at my brother’s house or really being able to spend any time with him or his family (That one really hurt), not being able to see another friend, and the big homeschool ball being two days after I left town.

All those things were really disappointing, and I may or may not have had a minor breakdown at church because of them (plus the dread of going back to Massachusetts), but that’s life I guess :-/ I’ll have to try even harder next time I go back to make those things happen.

Well, I’m sure there is more that I could talk about, but I think I’ve told you the most important highlights πŸ™‚

Carrying the banner!

~Esther

 

 

 

 

 

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Dancing and Other Things

Hmmmm… What should I talk about? I have so much going on and yet I don’t know what to write about… :-/

Okay, well let’s start on what has made my life a little less crazy… Co-Op ended. Which is very sad πŸ™ Because I’ll never have a Co-Op with all those people again πŸ™Β  On the last day there was a girl who kept hugging me and it was so bitter sweet… At times 5 years doesn’t seem very long, and others it seems like forever πŸ™

On a happier note; the play went good! πŸ˜€ A few mistakes, as always, but nothing big πŸ™‚ It was really a fun play. And acting like you are furious at someone is so much fun πŸ˜‰ I even found out after our first practice that I scared one of my friends… She said that she had never heard me yell before πŸ˜‰ Which I had never thought about before… Most people have probably never heard me yell or seen me angry… Until now πŸ˜‰

Annnd… I went to a ball!! XD I’ve been to a couple balls before, but this was the first time I had gone to this particular one. I’ve known lots of people who have gone for years, but this was my first chance to. And it was absolutely amazing!!!! Words cannot describe it. I think dancing (well, at least Pride and Prejudice type dancing) is just about my most favorite things to do πŸ˜€ There’s nothing like spinning in a twirly dress or swinging around the room. I don’t think that I stopped smiling the whole time I was dancing πŸ˜‰ I didn’t realize before how muchΒ I like dancing… Maybe that will be something I look into in MA.

Because it's Time for a New Post...--Blank PagesI found my dress at Goodwill (You never know what you’ll find there! πŸ˜€ ), and found a pattern online for my shrug πŸ™‚ And Mrs. R went and got L and I corsages! That thought had never occurred to me, but apparently it’s a family tradition πŸ™‚

Because it's Time for a New Post...--Blank PagesBefore the dance I went over to my… brother’s fiance’s sister’s house( πŸ˜‰ ), and just hung out and got ready together πŸ™‚ And she even did my hair!! Isn’t it amazing?? I would have never thought that my hair would curl πŸ™‚ It took about 2 and a half hours, though… πŸ˜‰

Because it's Time for a New Post...--Blank Pages

*Sigh* Yup… Life is crazy πŸ˜› I have more that I could write, but I think that’s a good place to stop πŸ™‚ See ya!

~Esther