September 10, 2017 by Esther the Author

Do Things Ever Really Get Better?

We’ve all heard people say it. You’re going through a hard time and all people can tell you is: “Just wait, things will get better!” But do we really believe them? Do things ever really get better?

Keep reading, maybe I can help 🙂

June 2016 through June 2017.

That sentence pretty much sends a shudder through me.

Most people who know me know that the last year has been very hard for me. Some people more than others. There were times when I would just want to give up, but I kept praying that God would somehow make things better for me and help me understand what was going on, and help me get through.

He answered my prayers completely 🙂 It didn’t happen instantly. I suffered for a long time. Then I found a place that helped. A place that God knew I needed 🙂 Camp. It helped me refocus and find my freedom again. I found friends, and purpose in life again, I felt free again. I was no longer burdened down with all my emotions and sadness. I started not just living from day to day, but actually smiling when I woke up in the mornings, like I used to.

And after that the blessings kept continuing…. We found a Co-Op/homeschool group, which was exactly what we had been looking for for quite awhile. We’ve gotten together with them a few times, I’ve met some people that I think may quite possibly turn out to become friends of mine 🙂 Through the school year this year we’ll be doing Co-Op classes. I’ll be able to do theater again!!!! Oh, that feels so good to say ^_^ I’ve been out of theater way too long 🙁

God is giving me lots of new opportunities. I couldn’t be happier ^_^ I’m getting the chance to be a teenager again ^_^

Do Things Ever Really Get Better?--Blank Pages

If I had I choice… I’m not sure that I would rewind my life back to before we moved. Yes, I would rather have never moved and I miss Missouri so much, but there are starting to be some rewards from moving. I’ve grown in my relationship with God (Something that probably wouldn’t have happened so quickly if I hadn’t moved), I found my camp, another home that I never would have found otherwise. I’ve grown up so much. It’s crazy. I’m so different from that little girl I was a year ago.

So what I want to tell anyone who is struggling out there, people that are going through tough times, it will get better. It will. No matter how hopeless your situation looks, you are not alone. God is with you, and he can do something beautiful with your life. You just need to be patient enough to see that.

I didn’t really believe this not long ago. I had people tell me: “It will get better, don’t worry” I would nod my head and pretend like I heard them, but in my heart I could not believe it.

How could things get better, I thought. I don’t see anything changing. Nope, I’m going to be completely miserable for a loooong time.

That’s what I thought. I would pray and pray and ask God to help me, to tell me what to do. Then, all of a sudden, things did get better.

Life can’t be Buttercups and Rainbows all the time. Imagine what we would be like if that was the case 😛 That’s a conversation that I had at camp this summer. Why does God let bad things happen to us? That question would take a whole new post to answer, but I think that Jesus answers this the best:

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. ²Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

John 15: 1,2

I hope this brought you some encouragement today 🙂

Jesus loves you!!

~Esther

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July 24, 2017 by Esther the Author

Going to Camp for the First Time//Growing Up

Hey ya’ll! A lot has happened in my life recently 🙂

First of all, I found a piece of home in New England. In a place that I never expected 🙂

At the end of June my family went up to help at a camp a couple hours away, getting everything ready for the camping season. Our church here helps out there a lot during the summer.

So I went, expecting it to be the typical Christian camp. My family has never sent any of us to camp before, and I had never really thought about going.

I think I fell in love with it the first day 😉 It was out in the country, had these neat old cabins, was near a lake… And the people there accepted me right away. Everyone were asking me if I was coming to camp that summer. People actually talked to me, which meant the world to me 🙂

One of the boys cabins 🙂

I did a lot of praying and thinking there. One night I went out walking. I looked at the stars (The stars, yesss! It felt so amazing to see the stars again ^_^) and prayed and asked God a lot of questions. Then right before I went back to the cabin I heard the sound of all the counselors singing hymns. It was a magical moment 🙂

It’s hard to explain, but that week made me a better Christian. I had kind of lost my spiritual fire, but it came back strong after that week 🙂

By the time it was time to leave I was determined to ask Mom and Dad if I could go. Boy, was that whole deciding if I could go process a roller coaster 😉

It went something like this:

Maybe, no, maybe, no, yes, maybe, yes 😉

But finally, after all that, I was there. At an official week at camp. I couldn’t believe it 😀

I would tell you everything that happened at camp, but that would probably take about 30,000 words to do 😉

It was so amazing ^_^

We sang a lot of songs, played a lot of games, made friends, had devotionals… So much 🙂 I was in a great cabin and had a great counselor. I felt like I belonged there, no one made me feel like I was out of place.

This was part of the live-action Clue game that we played one night 🙂 This is me and my cabin talking to Reverend Green.

My sad attempt at tightrope walking 😉

Chapel. It was so amazing to be able to hear all the kids singing every day.

Like I said, it was the closest thing I’ve found to home in New England 🙂 The day I had to leave everyone was asking why I had to leave. No one was very happy with me ;P (I had to leave a day early 🙁 ) I managed somehow to not start crying, surprisingly 😉

It was really good for me. It was very different from anything I had done before. I’m definitely planning on going back next year 😀 In a couple years, when I get old enough, I might think about counseling there 🙂 I think it would a great ministry for me, to be able to teach kids about God and the Bible 🙂

After we got back, my brother Noah and I talked for about three hours about everything that happened at camp 😉 It was a Sunday, and almost everyone was gone, so we started talking and completely lost track of time. That’s how much happened to us at camp 😉

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A random thought that may seem completely unconnected but to me it isn’t…

I’m growing up. It’s so weird, but I’m not such a little girl anymore 😛 It won’t be that much longer until I graduate. I’m realizing that more and more… I had a lot of people asking me what I was going to do, where I was going to college… The other kids my age talking about college and careers. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing 🙂 It’s weird to think about, but it’s going to happen sooner or later, whether I like it or not. All I can do is prepare for it 🙂 It feels real to me now. It never really has before. I know what I want to do now, what I think God is calling me to do. And I’ll just have to wait and see what lies on the road ahead. Whatever happens, God will be with me 🙂

“I’m going on an adventure!”

-Bilbo Baggins

Bye for now, peeps!

~Esther

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June 12, 2017 by Esther the Author

My Newsies Cosplay!

Most people who know me know that I like the movie and play Newsies. A lot. I often annoy my siblings from singing and quoting it so much 😉

So I decided to make myself a Newsies costume! I’ve been wanting to for awhile. It’s my first official cosplay 🙂 I’ve done costumes before, but never what I would call a full-hearted cosplay before. It’s far from perfect, but I’m pretty happy with it 🙂

My little brother took pictures for me. I feel so weird when people take pictures of me XP

All the elements paired up pretty nicely, I think 🙂 I wasn’t sure if the skirt was going to work, but I was happily surprised.

Strike! Strike! Ooooh, strike! XD

Can we take a moment to appreciate those beautiful, worn shoes? They are so perfect ^_^

Papes! 😀

The vest took me the longest to make, mostly because of the stubborn button holes XP Who ever invented button holes? I will stick to zippers, thank you 😉

Aaah, the railing!!! *has fan girl moment* Makes me want to start singing Santa Fe ^_^ “Them streets down there, they sucked the life out of my ole man, well they ain’t doin’ that to me!” XDSo there you have it! 🙂 Thank you for bearing with all my fan girling 😉

“WE’LL ALL BE OUT THERE, CARRYING THE BANNER THROUGH IT ALL!”

Okay, yeah, I’m done 😉

See yous guys latah!

~Essie

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May 22, 2017 by Esther the Author

My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments

My trip to Missouri was absolutely amazing. I learned so much. It was the happiest time that I’ve had in a very long time.

I’m a part of Missouri. I do so much more that just live here. I can thrive here 🙂 It may not be the prettiest place on earth to most people, but it is to me 🙂 I pretty much started crying for joy after we got to my brother’s house 🙂 You can smell it in the air, you can feel it, you can see it… It all is telling me that I’m home ^_^

I stayed with my oldest sister for most of the time. Staying at her house… It felt like home. I love her little people so much. Saying goodbye to them…

There is a lot that I’m dealing with right now. I’m not exactly sure what God is telling me to do. Oh how I long for the carefree days of my youth sometimes. When I got back to Massachusetts it felt so very weird and wrong… The feeling has lessened some now, after being here almost two weeks. But there is always that feeling, stronger than others at times, of loneliness and sadness that never completely goes away. I don’t think it will go away, at least not anytime soon.

Favorite Missouri Moments

I’ll go through some of my favorite moments somewhat chronologically 😉 So yeah, not really chronologically at all 😉

I did a lot of babysitting, spent a lot of time with my niece and nephews (my oldest sisters kids). It was really special 🙂 Those kids are something special <3

I got to spend a lot of time with a couple friends (who happen to be sisters 😉 ) and got to catch up and play games and just be girls 🙂 Those times are very few for me so it was good for me ^_^ And hey, I found out that they had recently found out what an awesome movie Newsies is, so we were singing Newsies songs, making doughnuts, playing Spoons, painting nails… Yeah ^_^

I went to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie! Boy, was it amazing or what ^_^ It was different from the animated movie, but in a good way. I thought Emma Watson did a fair job with Belle. Gaston and the Beast were amazing ^_^

We had a Nerf war in the church building of some good friends of ours. It was insanely fun 😀 With hostages, bombs, brownies, good friends, how could it not be?? Okay, more like fake hostages and bombs 😉 The bomb was actually a walkie talkie in a tool box that one team hid and the other team had to find before the time ran out 🙂 On one of the rounds one boy and I were outside and we ran around the building and surprised everyone by coming in the back door 🙂 We were both shot right away, but it was still cool 😉

I got to go to our homeschool Co-Op twice 🙂 It was really good to be able to see everyone again. All the kids are growing up, getting taller and all that 🙂 Being back there I could almost imagine that nothing had changed. It brought back good memories 🙂

I was able to see some good friends of mine, we met at Ikea, tested out all the chairs, and sadly failed at getting lost 🙁 It was my first time being at an Ikea 🙂 I got to the scary stuffed heart with hands *shudders* Oh, and the stuffed giant toothbrush O_o We also went to Hobby Lobby (Best store ever 😀 ), looked at pretty things and lost our brothers 😉 (They were slightly less enthusiastic about going to Hobby Lobby than us 😉 ) Then we went out to the parking lot and said good-bye and gave hugs while the boys made fun of us 😉 “How long does it take to say good-bye?” “What, you’re hugging again??” We completely ignored them. Boys ;P

Watching movies with my older siblings again ^_^

Going to our church, seeing everyone there and hearing the lessons. It’s a special place 🙂 I was able to spend some time with my best friend there. We walked through the building talking about old times when we played there together as kids, and even found a room that we never knew was there before 😉 I also was able to go to my oldest sister’s church several times, which was good 🙂

I got to go to dance practice!!! Man, I didn’t realize how much I had missed dancing until then. It was so much fun ^_^ I get better every time I go. Oh, I even waltzed for the first time in my life too! May need some practice on that one 😉 I feel sorry for the guy I was dancing with 😉 I was getting better by the end of the song, though 🙂

My Grandma started teaching me to drive! It was a lot of fun 🙂 I need a lot more practice still, but I at least have some experience now 🙂

I gained another nephew while I was there too!! When got back to my (oldest) sister’s house after staying at my other sisters house, Alyssa said: “Welcome back! I’m going into labor, so are you up for watching the kids?” 😉 I got to see the kids hold their baby brother for the first time. It was all really special.

Now, while there were a ton of high notes to the trip, there were some not so great moments too.

Near the end of my stay it seemed like all the plans I tried to make kept getting canceled. Not being able to go to my brother’s with the rest of my family, plans for getting together with friends in Kansas City to watch Moana was canceled the day of, making plans to stay the night at a friend’s house and then she got flooded in, not being able to stay at my brother’s house or really being able to spend any time with him or his family (That one really hurt), not being able to see another friend, and the big homeschool ball being two days after I left town.

All those things were really disappointing, and I may or may not have had a minor breakdown at church because of them (plus the dread of going back to Massachusetts), but that’s life I guess :-/ I’ll have to try even harder next time I go back to make those things happen.

Well, I’m sure there is more that I could talk about, but I think I’ve told you the most important highlights 🙂

Carrying the banner!

~Esther

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