Going to Camp for the First Time//Growing Up

Hey ya’ll! A lot has happened in my life recently πŸ™‚

First of all, I found a piece of home in New England. In a place that I never expected πŸ™‚

At the end of June my family went up to help at a camp a couple hours away, getting everything ready for the camping season. Our church here helps out there a lot during the summer.

So I went, expecting it to be the typical Christian camp. My family has never sent any of us to camp before, and I had never really thought about going.

I think I fell in love with it the first day πŸ˜‰ It was out in the country, had these neat old cabins, was near a lake… And the people there accepted me right away. Everyone were asking me if I was coming to camp that summer. People actually talked to me, which meant the world to me πŸ™‚

Going to Camp for the First Time//Growing Up--Blank Pages

One of the boys cabins πŸ™‚

I did a lot of praying and thinking there. One night I went out walking. I looked at the stars (The stars, yesss! It felt so amazing to see the stars again ^_^) and prayed and asked God a lot of questions. Then right before I went back to the cabin I heard the sound of all the counselors singing hymns. It was a magical moment πŸ™‚

It’s hard to explain, but that week made me a better Christian. I had kind of lost my spiritual fire, but it came back strong after that week πŸ™‚

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By the time it was time to leave I was determined to ask Mom and Dad if I could go. Boy, was that whole deciding if I could go process a roller coaster πŸ˜‰

It went something like this:

Maybe, no, maybe, no, yes, maybe, yes πŸ˜‰

But finally, after all that, I was there. At an official week at camp. I couldn’t believe it πŸ˜€

I would tell you everything that happened at camp, but that would probably take about 30,000 words to do πŸ˜‰

It was so amazing ^_^

We sang a lot of songs, played a lot of games, made friends, had devotionals… So much πŸ™‚ I was in a great cabin and had a great counselor. I felt like I belonged there, no one made me feel like I was out of place.

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This was part of the live-action Clue game that we played one night πŸ™‚ This is me and my cabin talking to Reverend Green.

Going to Camp for the First Time//Growing Up--Blank PagesMy sad attempt at tightrope walking πŸ˜‰

Going to Camp for the First Time//Growing Up--Blank PagesChapel. It was so amazing to be able to hear all the kids singing every day.

Like I said, it was the closest thing I’ve found to home in New England πŸ™‚ The day I had to leave everyone was asking why I had to leave. No one was very happy with me ;P (I had to leave a day early πŸ™ ) I managed somehow to not start crying, surprisingly πŸ˜‰

It was really good for me. It was very different from anything I had done before. I’m definitely planning on going back next year πŸ˜€ In a couple years, when I get old enough, I might think about counseling there πŸ™‚ I think it would a great ministry for me, to be able to teach kids about God and the Bible πŸ™‚

After we got back, my brother Noah and I talked for about three hours about everything that happened at camp πŸ˜‰ It was a Sunday, and almost everyone was gone, so we started talking and completely lost track of time. That’s how much happened to us at camp πŸ˜‰

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A random thought that may seem completely unconnected but to me it isn’t…

I’m growing up. It’s so weird, but I’m not such a little girl anymore πŸ˜› It won’t be that much longer until I graduate. I’m realizing that more and more… I had a lot of people asking me what I was going to do, where I was going to college… The other kids my age talking about college and careers. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing πŸ™‚ It’s weird to think about, but it’s going to happen sooner or later, whether I like it or not. All I can do is prepare for it πŸ™‚ It feels real to me now. It never really has before. I know what I want to do now, what I think God is calling me to do. And I’ll just have to wait and see what lies on the road ahead. Whatever happens, God will be with me πŸ™‚

“I’m going on an adventure!”
-Bilbo Baggins

Bye for now, peeps!

~Esther

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My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments

My trip to Missouri was absolutely amazing. I learned so much. It was the happiest time that I’ve had in a very long time.

I’m a part of Missouri. I do so much more that just live here. I can thrive here πŸ™‚ It may not be the prettiest place on earth to most people, but it is to me πŸ™‚ I pretty much started crying for joy after we got to my brother’s house πŸ™‚ You can smell it in the air, you can feel it, you can see it… It all is telling me that I’m home ^_^

I stayed with my oldest sister for most of the time. Staying at her house… It felt like home. I love her little people so much. Saying goodbye to them…

There is a lot that I’m dealing with right now. I’m not exactly sure what God is telling me to do. Oh how I long for the carefree days of my youth sometimes. When I got back to Massachusetts it felt so very weird and wrong… The feeling has lessened some now, after being here almost two weeks. But there is always that feeling, stronger than others at times, of loneliness and sadness that never completely goes away. I don’t think it will go away, at least not anytime soon.

Favorite Missouri Moments

I’ll go through some of my favorite moments somewhat chronologically πŸ˜‰ So yeah, not really chronologically at all πŸ˜‰

I did a lot of babysitting, spent a lot of time with my niece and nephews (my oldest sisters kids). It was really special πŸ™‚ Those kids are something special <3

Nephew #9--Blank Pages

Nature walk--Blank Pages

My Trip to Missouri//Favorite Moments--Blank Pages

I got to spend a lot of time with a couple friends (who happen to be sisters πŸ˜‰ ) and got to catch up and play games and just be girls πŸ™‚ Those times are very few for me so it was good for me ^_^ And hey, I found out that they had recently found out what an awesome movie Newsies is, so we were singing Newsies songs, making doughnuts, playing Spoons, painting nails… Yeah ^_^

 

I went to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie! Boy, was it amazing or what ^_^ It was different from the animated movie, but in a good way. I thought Emma Watson did a fair job with Belle. Gaston and the Beast were amazing ^_^

We had a Nerf war in the church building of some good friends of ours. It was insanely fun πŸ˜€ With hostages, bombs, brownies, good friends, how could it not be?? Okay, more like fake hostages and bombs πŸ˜‰ The bomb was actually a walkie talkie in a tool box that one team hid and the other team had to find before the time ran out πŸ™‚ On one of the rounds one boy and I were outside and we ran around the building and surprised everyone by coming in the back door πŸ™‚ We were both shot right away, but it was still cool πŸ˜‰

My Trip to Missouri, the nerf war-- Blank Pages

I got to go to our homeschool Co-Op twice πŸ™‚ It was really good to be able to see everyone again. All the kids are growing up, getting taller and all that πŸ™‚ Being back there I could almost imagine that nothing had changed. It brought back good memories πŸ™‚

I was able to see some good friends of mine, we met at Ikea, tested out all the chairs, and sadly failed at getting lost πŸ™ It was my first time being at an Ikea πŸ™‚ I got to the scary stuffed heart with hands *shudders* Oh, and the stuffed giant toothbrush O_o We also went to Hobby Lobby (Best store ever πŸ˜€ ), looked at pretty things and lost our brothers πŸ˜‰ (They were slightly less enthusiastic about going to Hobby Lobby than us πŸ˜‰ )Β  Then we went out to the parking lot and said good-bye and gave hugs while the boys made fun of us πŸ˜‰ “How long does it take to say good-bye?” “What, you’re hugging again??” We completely ignored them. Boys ;P

Watching movies with my older siblings again ^_^

Going to our church, seeing everyone there and hearing the lessons. It’s a special place πŸ™‚ I was able to spend some time with my best friend there. We walked through the building talking about old times when we played there together as kids, and even found a room that we never knew was there before πŸ˜‰ I also was able to go to my oldest sister’s church several times, which was good πŸ™‚

Β I got to go to dance practice!!! Man, I didn’t realize how much I had missed dancing until then. It was so much fun ^_^ I get better every time I go. Oh, I even waltzed for the first time in my life too! May need some practice on that one πŸ˜‰ I feel sorry for the guy I was dancing with πŸ˜‰ I was getting better by the end of the song, though πŸ™‚

My Grandma started teaching me to drive! It was a lot of fun πŸ™‚ I need a lot more practice still, but I at least have some experience now πŸ™‚

I gained another nephew while I was there too!! When got back to my (oldest) sister’s house after staying at my other sisters house, Alyssa said: “Welcome back! I’m going into labor, so are you up for watching the kids?” πŸ˜‰ I got to see the kids hold their baby brother for the first time. It was all really special.

Now, while there were a ton of high notes to the trip, there were some not so great moments too.

Near the end of my stay it seemed like all the plans I tried to make kept getting canceled. Not being able to go to my brother’s with the rest of my family, plans for getting together with friends in Kansas City to watch Moana was canceled the day of, making plans to stay the night at a friend’s house and then she got flooded in, not being able to stay at my brother’s house or really being able to spend any time with him or his family (That one really hurt), not being able to see another friend, and the big homeschool ball being two days after I left town.

All those things were really disappointing, and I may or may not have had a minor breakdown at church because of them (plus the dread of going back to Massachusetts), but that’s life I guess :-/ I’ll have to try even harder next time I go back to make those things happen.

Well, I’m sure there is more that I could talk about, but I think I’ve told you the most important highlights πŸ™‚

Carrying the banner!

~Esther

 

 

 

 

 

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Different Things, ‘Cause I Needed to Post Something!

Hey ya’ll!

A lot is happening right now and I probably won’t get a chance to post for quite awhile after this.

Our family is taking a trip back to Missouri soon, and oh, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me to just think about it ^_^ It’s kind of my reward, proof that I really have survived the last 6 months. To see the people I love, to visit my woods and the places where I used to roam.

Looking back, my life in Missouri seemed so perfect. I knew it too πŸ™‚ So why did it have to change? Why couldn’t things have stayed perfect? I can’t answer that. Only God knows πŸ™‚ All I know is that I have grown from it, I’m different than I was a year ago.

We’ll see what happens in Missouri πŸ™‚ I’m so excited… And a tad nervous too. I don’t know what will happen, if the people will be the same, or if we’ll get to do all the things that I want to do. Have people missed me? What’s happened since we’ve been gone? I’m trying not to think about it too much πŸ˜‰ I’m sure it will be fine.

15 hours in the car, in one day, with my siblings πŸ˜› That’s what I’ll be going through pretty soon πŸ˜‰ I’m not too worried, though. I’m pretty good about traveling. Hopefully I can manage not to sit next to my sister the whole time πŸ˜‰

The first half of the winter we didn’t get much snow; but that wasn’t the case for the last half! We got about 22 inches in February! And as I’m writing right now there’s practically a blizzard outside πŸ˜› We’re supposedly supposed to get 12 inches or so. Spring come soon…

Next Topic…

I just finished reading the Thrawn Trilogy… And boy, was it amazing!! It’s one of my favorite series now, I have to say πŸ™‚ It had some cool new characters: Mara Jade, Talon Karrde, Grand Admiral Thrawn… And then some πŸ™‚Β  It really felt like an extension to the 4th, 5th and 6th episodes. Take my advice: it’s an amazing series!! XD

See ya soon!! XD

~Esther

P.S I have another niece and nephew! (No, not twins πŸ˜‰ ) So happy to be seeing them soon ^_^

 

 

 

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Thoughts About 2016 and Moving-Part 2

If you haven’t read the first post about my move to Massachusetts, you can read it here.

The ride to Massachusetts was an emotional one. With every mile I knew I was leaving behind the home that I loved. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, or do anything. By the time we got to the hotel I was wiped out.

I honestly don’t really want to think about the days in the hotel. Days full of house hunting, church hunting, being ready to scream because I missed home and didn’t have any space where I could be alone.Β  And then, finally we got a house.

I thought that things would be better when we got a house, but they weren’t much. At least not at first. I think I cried more in 2016 than I have in my entire life before. I never used to cry.
But then I really started keeping up with my Bible study, and talked to God all the time. I think I realize why I had to move. There were some things about me that needed to change. That wasn’t happening in Missouri. And then I had absolutely everything and everyone I relied on taken away from me. Everything except God. He became my best friend, in a way He never had been before. It really is amazing.
And yet, even though things were great for me spiritual wise, I still wasn’t happy. Massachusetts didn’t feel like home at all.

home |hōm| 
noun


the place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household

That’s the official definition. But home should be so much more than that… It should be a place where your family comes to visit, and all your nieces and nephews run around, and everyone is laughing and having fun. And where you invite all your friends over to do henna for your birthday, and are laughing the whole time and somehow start quoting Captain Jack Sparrow, and when you have stories about every single room in the house about where Luke made a hole in the wall, or that’s where we used to pretend to go treasure hunting. Home should be a place where you want to be. A place where, after having a very long day, you drive in the driveway and think happily: “I’m home at last.”
That’s home to me.
And none of those things have happened at the house in Massachusetts. Maybe it just takes awhile to get adjusted, I don’t know. But even though it’s difficult, and I would rather be someplace else, I have gotten to the point where I’m content with being here. Most of the time.

Philipians 4: 11-12 NKJV
Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

So yes, this year has been challenge. But I’ve grown, overcome obstacles, and cried more than I thought was possible. I may not have enjoyed any of it, but the Lord has a plan for me in all of this, I just haven’t discovered it yet.
So that’s the sum up of my year. One full of growth, lots of baby announcements (Speaking of baby announcements, I’ve just become an aunt for the 8th time! πŸ˜€ To a sweet baby girl ^_^), and loneliness.

A lot of loneliness, actually. 2016 was a year where it was just me and God. Which was good sometimes, but there were a lot of times where I wanted a friend that I could call up on the phone and just talk… But all my friends from back home were always busy, going on with their lives, while I wasn’t. An occasional email was the best I got most of the time. And I know that I should try more, people just don’t realize sometimes. But I can’t help but think that maybe they could have tried harder too. And I’m pretty sure that teenage girls are nonexistent in Massachusetts… Making friends is hard enough for me when there are people around, but when there isn’t any it is considerably harder πŸ˜› We go to a pretty small church where our family makes up half of the kids πŸ˜›
Anyway, I’m doing okay about half of the time πŸ˜‰ And waiting eagerly for our trip back in June. I miss everyone so very much!!! And Missouri. Missouri will always be where my heart is.
So here’s to 2017! May you be a better year than 2016.
-Esther

P.S Wow… That felt good to write πŸ˜›