Different Things, ‘Cause I Needed to Post Something!

Hey ya’ll!

A lot is happening right now and I probably won’t get a chance to post for quite awhile after this.

Our family is taking a trip back to Missouri soon, and oh, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me to just think about it ^_^ It’s kind of my reward, proof that I really have survived the last 6 months. To see the people I love, to visit my woods and the places where I used to roam.

Looking back, my life in Missouri seemed so perfect. I knew it too πŸ™‚ So why did it have to change? Why couldn’t things have stayed perfect? I can’t answer that. Only God knows πŸ™‚ All I know is that I have grown from it, I’m different than I was a year ago.

We’ll see what happens in Missouri πŸ™‚ I’m so excited… And a tad nervous too. I don’t know what will happen, if the people will be the same, or if we’ll get to do all the things that I want to do. Have people missed me? What’s happened since we’ve been gone? I’m trying not to think about it too much πŸ˜‰ I’m sure it will be fine.

15 hours in the car, in one day, with my siblings πŸ˜› That’s what I’ll be going through pretty soon πŸ˜‰ I’m not too worried, though. I’m pretty good about traveling. Hopefully I can manage not to sit next to my sister the whole time πŸ˜‰

The first half of the winter we didn’t get much snow; but that wasn’t the case for the last half! We got about 22 inches in February! And as I’m writing right now there’s practically a blizzard outside πŸ˜› We’re supposedly supposed to get 12 inches or so. Spring come soon…

Next Topic…

I just finished reading the Thrawn Trilogy… And boy, was it amazing!! It’s one of my favorite series now, I have to say πŸ™‚ It had some cool new characters: Mara Jade, Talon Karrde, Grand Admiral Thrawn… And then some πŸ™‚Β  It really felt like an extension to the 4th, 5th and 6th episodes. Take my advice: it’s an amazing series!! XD

See ya soon!! XD


P.S I have another niece and nephew! (No, not twins πŸ˜‰ ) So happy to be seeing them soon ^_^






Thoughts About 2016 and Moving-Part 2

If you haven’t read the first post about my move to Massachusetts, you can read it here.

The ride to Massachusetts was an emotional one. With every mile I knew I was leaving behind the home that I loved. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, or do anything. By the time we got to the hotel I was wiped out.

I honestly don’t really want to think about the days in the hotel. Days full of house hunting, church hunting, being ready to scream because I missed home and didn’t have any space where I could be alone.Β  And then, finally we got a house.

I thought that things would be better when we got a house, but they weren’t much. At least not at first. I think I cried more in 2016 than I have in my entire life before. I never used to cry.
But then I really started keeping up with my Bible study, and talked to God all the time. I think I realize why I had to move. There were some things about me that needed to change. That wasn’t happening in Missouri. And then I had absolutely everything and everyone I relied on taken away from me. Everything except God. He became my best friend, in a way He never had been before. It really is amazing.
And yet, even though things were great for me spiritual wise, I still wasn’t happy. Massachusetts didn’t feel like home at all.

home |hōm| 

the place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household

That’s the official definition. But home should be so much more than that… It should be a place where your family comes to visit, and all your nieces and nephews run around, and everyone is laughing and having fun. And where you invite all your friends over to do henna for your birthday, and are laughing the whole time and somehow start quoting Captain Jack Sparrow, and when you have stories about every single room in the house about where Luke made a hole in the wall, or that’s where we used to pretend to go treasure hunting. Home should be a place where you want to be. A place where, after having a very long day, you drive in the driveway and think happily: “I’m home at last.”
That’s home to me.
And none of those things have happened at the house in Massachusetts. Maybe it just takes awhile to get adjusted, I don’t know. But even though it’s difficult, and I would rather be someplace else, I have gotten to the point where I’m content with being here. Most of the time.

Philipians 4: 11-12 NKJV
Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

So yes, this year has been challenge. But I’ve grown, overcome obstacles, and cried more than I thought was possible. I may not have enjoyed any of it, but the Lord has a plan for me in all of this, I just haven’t discovered it yet.
So that’s the sum up of my year. One full of growth, lots of baby announcements (Speaking of baby announcements, I’ve just become an aunt for the 8th time! πŸ˜€ To a sweet baby girl ^_^), and loneliness.

A lot of loneliness, actually. 2016 was a year where it was just me and God. Which was good sometimes, but there were a lot of times where I wanted a friend that I could call up on the phone and just talk… But all my friends from back home were always busy, going on with their lives, while I wasn’t. An occasional email was the best I got most of the time. And I know that I should try more, people just don’t realize sometimes. But I can’t help but think that maybe they could have tried harder too. And I’m pretty sure that teenage girls are nonexistent in Massachusetts… Making friends is hard enough for me when there are people around, but when there isn’t any it is considerably harder πŸ˜› We go to a pretty small church where our family makes up half of the kids πŸ˜›
Anyway, I’m doing okay about half of the time πŸ˜‰ And waiting eagerly for our trip back in June. I miss everyone so very much!!! And Missouri. Missouri will always be where my heart is.
So here’s to 2017! May you be a better year than 2016.

P.S Wow… That felt good to write πŸ˜›

Thoughts About 2016 and Moving-Part 1

So, in short, 2016 was probably the least enjoyable year of my life. Maybe even the worst. That doesn’t mean good things didn’t happen in 2016, some very good things did. Elegant Evening, my brother’s wedding, Co-Op. The year started out great, but then got steadily worse…

Things kind of started in March when Mom talked to me about a couple job applications that Dad had put it, which didn’t sound like he would get. In which case we would probably move to the town where our church was. Which would have been great! I would be super close to my best friend, the church, and closer to a lot of things. It would have been a little different, but not that much.

And then both of Dad’s job applications started getting more promising… He had a couple of phone interviews, and it was going farther than any other application that he had made before. And then it became more apparent that we would be moving. Not just a half an hour away, more like 14 or 20 hoursΒ  away.

I think March 30th or 31st was the day that I knew this thing was going to happen. And it still didn’t seem real. Moving? Really? Our family doesn’t do that. It’s just a joke, right?Β But no, it wasn’t. I remember going to my soon to be sister-in-law’s wedding shower that her church had put on for her and feeling so numb and ready to cry knowing what was coming. And not being able to tell anyone… That was very hard. One Sunday at church I want up to my best friend and hugged her and started crying. Of course she asked me what was wrong, but I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone… Mom and Dad hadn’t even told all my siblings yet so of course I couldn’t talk about it.

And then one day in early April Dad called from work to ask us if we could take a week long vacation to Massachusetts in a couple of hours. They wanted him to come for an interview in person. So we packed up, and left two hours later. It took maybe 6 days to get there and back. And Dad was really impressed with the place there, everyone thought that the area was really pretty. And it got even more complicated… Dad got an offer from the place in Louisiana, as well as an unofficial one from Massachusetts. So Mom and Dad asked all of us where we would rather live. It was a hard choice… But I couldn’t shake off the feeling that Massachusetts was where God wanted us to be. And that’s where Mom and Dad decided to go.

I don’t remember how soon we told everybody… We talked to all our siblings on the way back to Missouri, and I think we told the people at our church soon after that. It was so hard telling friends… I cried, and choked up and couldn’t talk and felt guilty that I hadn’t told them before.

And then cleaning. So much cleaning. Which really wasn’t much fun, but it had to be done if we were to sell our house. So with cleaning, getting ready for the wedding, and Co-Op, we were quite busy for awhile. And then Co-Op ended, Luke got married… But cleaning didn’t end until we left. I had so many plans of saying goodbye… To my woods, the house, my friends… Not many of them got done. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t say goodbye. And since we hadn’t sold the house I knew we would be back.

The night before we left Luke and Hannah came over, and we all went to buy fireworks with them. We piled into their little red car after supper and drove 20 minutes to get fireworks just like we had done every year for as long as I can remember. The drive back I remember playing music full blast, and the fireflies flying past us like shooting stars in the night. I can’t remember if I cried or not.

So we shot fireworks off, and then talked, and I hoped that that night would never end… But eventually they had to leave. It was not easy for me to say goodbye. I hugged Luke and didn’t want to let go… And then they left. I haven’t seen them since then.

After they left we all got ready for bed. The house was completely empty, except for a recliner, and a couple other things. Everyone except me was sleeping upstairs; I had the basement all to myself. I went down, started getting ready for bed, then collapsed on the recliner cryingΒ  like I never had before. I cried so hard that night. Up to then I had wanted to cry, but it would never come out. It all did then.

~to be continued~

Click here for Part 2


Thoughts About Life//Hiking Stories

Note: most of this post was written in October, and I never got around to actually finishing it and posting it. So all my thoughts and muses may be a little outdated πŸ˜‰ Hopefully I’ll be able to write a post bringing you all up to date soon πŸ™‚

Yup, it’s been awhile, huh? You’ll just have to get used to my absences, because they are going to happen from time to time!

Anyhow, back to life. I haven’t even begun to understand it. Nor do I believe that I ever will XP

I’m kind of a mess emotionally now. I’ll be good one moment, going about my day, and then something will happen to make me not so good the next πŸ˜› I’m a lot better than I was, but still. These past 6 months or so have been so hard. Harder than I ever remember.

So my life right now is pretty boring… Mostly school. But we did go on a ten mile hike the other day! πŸ™‚ Up an absolutely gorgeous mountain.

The Mountain That We Climbed πŸ˜‰

The hike up--Blank Pages

Leaves of gold--Blank Pages

Sister at the bridge--Blank Pages


At the top of the mountain!

Fire tower--Blank Pages

The fire tower at the top, once we climbed it we were over 4000 ft! πŸ˜€

Mountain view--Blank Pages

It was truly a breathtaking view πŸ™‚

Crystal blue sky--Blank Pages

We couldn’t have asked for more perfect weather that day! A crystal clear day, not too hot or cold, just right πŸ™‚



I took this picture on our way to the pond. Noah and I basically climbed down the mountain by ourselves, Dad and Gabe are crazy fast hikers, so it never took them long to get ahead of Noah and me πŸ˜‰ So Noah and I had fun, making a competition out of who fell down the most, me spontaneously singing lines from Carrying the Banner (Specifically: “Walk until we faaaaallll!” Yep, I’m crazy ^_^), me telling myself and Noah that we didn’t have time to goof off, and talking about random crazy things πŸ˜‰ We had fun πŸ™‚

The lake--Blank Pages

The “pond” and the bottom of the mountain. They called it a pond, but we all agreed that it really should be a lake πŸ˜‰

The photogerpher--Blank Pages

Red leaves, blue sky--Blank Pages

My little sister took this, she’s got a pretty good eye, don’t you think? πŸ™‚

Almost complete--Blank Pages

This is the closest thing that we got to a family picture πŸ™‚

Hiking stories--Blank Pages

Okay, so there’s a story behind this picture… A very observant person would notice that I’m not wearing shoes in this picture, and I don’t look that happy, and that I’m holding my jacket weirdly. The reason behind all this: on the 4 mile hike back my feet started hurting, and then really hurting, so much so that it was really difficult to walk. I had cheap shoes on, not the greatest decision I’ve ever made πŸ˜› Note to self: buy good hiking shoes the next time you go on a ten mile hike. Anyway, I could walk, but not very fast at all, and I had to stop every 10-15 minutes or so. And we’re in the middle of nowhere, there’s nothing to do but keep walking the miles to the road. And I do, although every step is painful. (The reason I’m clutching my jacket sleeve in the above picture) The pathway seemed endless, but at last, the road finally appeared. I was ever so happy to see that black asphalt πŸ™‚ So yes! I survived πŸ™‚ And don’t any of you dare feel sorry for me, I won some bragging rights that day πŸ˜‰ I walked 3 plus miles in the woods without shoes, for one πŸ˜‰

See ya latah!